The reviewers have been kind to Vue de Monde – something along the lines of 3 chefs hat, glamorous, professional, ambitious…memorable and oh-so-worth-it…blah blah blah.

I’ve never actually been there. Why? Because I am generally at dessert house eating cheap dirty asian food and foolishly blowing my stimulation from KRudd on this coffee machine (which for the price I paid, should have come with a barister…or even a barrister har-har).

But I can almost hear Shannon Bennett saying to me “That’s ok, that’s why I’ve got Cafe Vue – for stingy stupid people like yourself. Come in, come in…not via the main entrance though, that’s for the important people who can afford Vue de Monde, come in from the shitty side entrance…”

What did we eat?

• kTang: Cafe Vue lunchbox w/ wild mushroom rice cake, capsicum salad, roast pork and beetroot bagel, chocolate macaroon
• Wifi: Vue burger & fries

What I liked:

• The interior is quite nicely furnished and gives off a welcoming and warm rustic feel.
• According to WiFi, the burger was pretty good, he didn’t give me any, the bastard, so it must’ve been alright.

What I didn’t like:

• We waited over 30 minutes for our food to come out. They were apparently waiting for Bistro Vue to cook me the rice cake. I’m sure I have a long lost 7 year old cousin that works on a rice paddy farm in China somewhere who could plant, harvest, dry, hull, mill, enrich the rice and make me 50 rice cakes in 30 minutes for about $0.27. Perhaps that is why everything is made in China…
• Nothing was overly tasty in my lunchbox, even though I was starving after waiting so long for the food.

Top tip:

Try Bistro Vue, or if you can afford it, Vue de Monde.

I haven’t been to either yet, but given that they are exponentially more expensive than cafe vue, it can’t get any worse right?

Rating:

4/10. I still think my long lost rice paddy cousin in China could do better.

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