I recently went to Misty’s Diner in Prahran, an authentic American style burger joint where you could probably ask for more grease on your grease at no extra cost.

One word to sum it up would be HEART…well, technically it should be HEART-ATTACK, but you probably won’t get around to saying ‘attack’ because you’ll be too busy going into cardiac arrest after eating here.

Now I’m all for the greased up food and I’ll eat a good bucket of KFC over a salad any day, but this diner might as well have been called ‘Come in if you want to wipe 10 years off your life’ because the food there was so bad for you, looking at it made me gain 10 kilos.

So what did I eat?

• Wet fries: shoe string fries topped with maccas cheese slices (I swear it looked just like it) and beef gravy, baked in the oven. But damn, what a bad name. Might as well have called it Bad Name Fries instead.
• Cheese and chilli fries: shoe string fries topped with more maccas cheese and chilli con carne.
• Boneless ribs with smokey bbq sauce: yup they were boneless alright. But what they don’t tell you is that it’s just pork mince that some teenager in the kitchen has sat on, ovened it and cut it into 2cm wide strips. The only thing going for this dish was the fact that the bbq sauce really was smokey – but then that might have just been a fluke from mixing with the ash that was in the air from our recent bushfires.
• Chai latte: I thought to myself, the dudes in the US have cinnamon gum…surely they’re ok at cinnamin ‘other-stuff’. No. I. Was. Wrong. So so wrong. If you like chai latte, do yourself a favour and get a hot chocolate instead.
• A sip of Reese’s Thickshake: consisted of crushed Reese’s, ice-cream, milk, peanut butter, chocolate sauce, topped with cream, more chocolate sauce and Reese’s puff cereal. All I had was one sip and I’m still buzzing a week later from my sugar high.

What I liked:

So the chick there really was called Misty and she gave us a free chilli dog (hot dog topped with chilli con carne). I’m all for free stuff, so I thought that was pretty neat.

What I didn’t like:

There wasn’t one oversized waiter. What a good opportunity for marketing wasted.

My top tip:

Call for an ambulance in advance so that they can arrive just as you’ve finished eating and start having chest pains.

My Rating: Capital N for Nasty = 2/10.

103-105 High Street
Prahran VIC 3181
Phone 9510 0033